The Dr. confirmed my fears. I can’t remember a word of what was said, other than Down syndrome. That’s all I heard. There were several other terms used along with statistics and suggestions. One of the suggestions being “not to worry”, this test produced so many false positives, I shouldn’t be too concerned. They would do a big fancy ultra sound and be able see more then.
My husband drove me to the hospital a couple days later for the big ultra sound. After an extensive search on the monitor, they told us things looked normal as far as they could see. They sent us in to speak with the genetic counselor to discuss our options. OPTIONS?!? I remember sitting in her office as she asked us question after question. She wanted our family history and then some.
It was when she suggested an amnio test and then “we could decide what to do from there” that I knew our discussion was over.
I was a mother expecting a baby. This wasn’t a batch of dough that I could just throw out because it wasn’t rising properly. In sickness and in health, I had signed up for motherhood.
A few short months later, I delivered a very healthy 8.5 lb baby boy. My heart expanded and magically I had all the love in the world for another little guy.
This one experience taught me so much about being a Mother.
NO MATTER WHAT THE TEST RESULTS SAY, OUR KIDS WILL EXPERIENCE CHALLENGES.
There will be ER visits -hurt feelings -our favorite dishes will shatter on the floor because of slippery little hands -calls from the Principal –frustration - moments of humiliation as your little one makes an OUT LOUD observation in public.
We’ll yell and pinch and occasionally bite each other.
We will learn together, grow together, fail cry and laugh together.
And then bed time comes, I see them sound a sleep and wonder how on earth you can love someone so unconditionally. A love so strong it almost hurts.
And then if you’re like me, your thoughts will turn to your own mother…
and you’ll want to call her and thank her. For everything.
Because you finally get it!
You finally understand that there is nothing quite like the love of a MOTHER!