i'm allergic to my husband.

i recently went in for my yearly check up with the doc.  she was asking me if i was taking any medications, and i said, "yes, just loratadine." and she said, "oh? what are you allergic to?"  and i told her i didn't know.  i just itch like crazy if i don't take it.  like a crazy person who can't contain themself and would probably like to rip their hair out and scratch their skin until they bleed.  and she said, "wouldn't you like to know what you're allergic to?"  and i decided that after taking that medicine for 2 years, it was time i figure out what exactly was causing me to be so itchy.

so i was told not to take my medicine for a whole week. a whole week.
i did, indeed, turn into a crazy person.  i think if you were to ask me the worst torture you could give to a human, i would say itching.  i'd rather give birth 13,234 more times than go a whole week without my medicine.  and when the morning of my testing came, i was never more excited to go to the doctor than i have been in all my life.  let me rephrase that.  it was the only time i have ever been excited to go to the doctor.

the conversation went as follows:
dr. lady allergy specialist: when did this start?
me: oh...about 2 years ago.
dr. lady allergy specialist: did anything change in your life? did you move or get pets or start a new diet??
me: umm....does my husband count as a pet? i got married.
dr. lady allergy specialist: oh really? did you ever, you know... before you got married?
me: nope.
dr. lady allergy specialist:  wow! ok. well then i definitely think you are allergic to your husband.
me: um, what?

she tested me for food allergies anyway.  even though she was already convinced that wade was the source of all my problems.  and the conclusion of all my poking and prodding...

i am allergic to 
my husband
(we are entering t.m.i. territory and we will leave it at that)


i have 2 options here.  never come close to my husband ever again.  and never eat chicken ever again.  we all know this will never happen because, quite frankly, i like chicken almost as much as i like my husband.  and so, i will continue to take my allergy medicine every day of my life.  but at least now i know why, right?


LL said...

does my husband count as a pet?

miriam said...

This made me laugh out loud! Now you've got something over Wade- not that you'd ever be manipulative, I'm just saying.

susette said...

Hey cute, you are wearing fingernail polish. I also see your cute big toe in the picture. Looks just like your mama's big toe. We must be related:) Love you dear♥

Jen said...

Thank goodness you are not too shy to share amazing stories like this, I'm dying. So funny.

Anonymous said...

Why don't you get him tested. Maybe there is something he can take to make you unallergic to him!

paige and jord said...

oh gosh im laughing so hard right now. allergic to your husband.. who would have thought?

Felt Family said...

bahhhhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaaa bahahahahaahahaaaahhhaaha!!! that's really all i can say. I love your blog posts!! but, on the bright side, at least there is medicine for your allergies---(HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH) thats about as funny as it comes!