miles attacks the keyboard

i have introduced my child to online gaming,
courtesy of fisher-price.
his favorite is rainforest peekaboo.
all he has to do it push a button.
any button.
and he is in love.
the only problem is,
he is now a crazy person around the computer.
and thinks it's okay to pound the keyboard at any given time.
if you want to teach your child this skill,
go here:
(although i don't recommend this if you care very very much about your keyboard)

i've been so busy.
work has consumed me.
i've been so busy, in fact,
that yesterday i just realized i have only been shaving one armpit.

and so today,
i have a break.
and i am so very tired.
so miles and i are staying in our pajamas all day.
and i don't mind if he wants to attack the keyboard
because i sure as heck am not much entertainment.


the desert

i'm down in arizona at a photography workshop for the weekend.

i stopped in st. george for a sleepover with the one and only viva
and we went to dinner at texas roadhouse,
followed by the classic run to walmart for an assortment of random items
including an air freshener for my new car. (yes!)
we picked smooth amber.
and quickly learned that it smelled quite awful.
awful, as in, horrible, cheap, rancid after shave.
then we went to maverik to get a new air freshener
to cover up the horrible smell and get a redbox (toy story 3. melt my heart)
while we sat in the car, assembling my new air freshener (hey, it was high tech, people)
a james franco look-a-like came up to the redbox in front of our car.
and i dared viva to give him the horrible, cheap, rancid after shave.
i mean, air freshener.
and she did.
and if things go my way, they will be engaged in six months.

then i drove through las vegas,
where a stop at h&m was a must.
and i wanted to buy the whole store,
but i also wanted my husband to be happy to see me when i go home.
so i settled for a 3 dollar headband and a 5 dollar pair of earrings
and went on my merry way,
until i was stopped by old navy and forced inside by the baby shoes.
these ones, to be exact:

then i made a stop at the hoover dam.
and basically the only reason i did that was because
of the movie madagascar.
and remember the penguins when they say,
"hoover dam! we're still in new york!"?
and also, i wasn't in a huge hurry to spend the entire day driving.
so i took my sweet time.
and it was cool.

and now i am spending 2 days cramming my brain full of photo info.
and it might explode.
k bye.

p.s. there are just wild pig things running around the neighborhoods here.
and i find it weird.
and i can't decide if i would rather have creepy crawly centipedes
or pigs.


drum roll please....

i'm so excited about this, i can barely contain myself.
i've been working on in it for months...
and it's not quite finished.
but i present to you:


dear porter,

"if only i don't
bend and break,
i'll meet you on the other side.
i'll meet you in the light."

love you.




my little baby is not so little anymore.
today is his first birthday.
he's all grown up and it makes me a little sad.
but i'm also excited because he is getting more fun every day!

happy birthday miles!

we had a big bash over the weekend.
and miles got to eat his very own cake.
pictures coming soon!

music on a monday


diary of a mad waitress

before i even start, i would just like to say:
i am not a bad waitress.
i don't mean to be arrogant.
i've just been doing this for almost 7 years.
and i would like to think that i sort of know what i'm doing by now.
i would also like to think that most people are generally good people inside.
but for some reason,
that completely changes when they dealing with us waitresses,
who are so lowly and scummy that they don't deserve to be treated with respect.
and it has made me lose my "general good people" feeling and start to have a
"general hate all people" feeling.
i more often than not, leave work thinking, "really?? did that REALLY just happen??"
(not all days... there are definitely good people out there, like the ones that leave $20 because they are just that nice.)
tonight, i had the pleasure of serving 2 young couples.
they ordered all you can eat wings.
the policy is no sharing, no take out boxes.
its all you can eat.
you don't go to chuck-a-rama and take everything home in box.
well, they asked for a box anyway, and i told them no.
its the rules.
its my job.
and apparently it makes me mean.
well they were mad.
they argued.
and 3 minutes later i saw them rolling up their extra wings in a napkin.
and putting them in their pocket. seriously?
never mind that its a little gross....
but seriously?
i don't have to even tell you that they didn't tip me.
oh and then on the way out, one declared that he was calling the "capital of winger's"
as if winger's was a country.
yes, you do that.

a table of 8 girls,
before i can even say hi,
one starts yelling at me about how she asked 4 times for a highchair and didn't get it.
well i'm not the host, i know nothing about this, but sure i'll get one.
and then another one because you don't like that one.
and then a kids menu and crayons for your child thats too small to even know how to color.
or eat regular food for that matter.
and then when i asked them what they wanted to drink, i was ignored.
and then when i asked them what they wanted to order,
i was ignored.
one girl looked up and rolled her eyes,
and then went back to her conversation.
i was ignored 3 times.
it took them 30 minutes to order.
and then they complain about how long it took to get their food?
well, lets see, i think thats because you sat there forever,
caught up in your ridiculous gossip that you forgot to even notice i was standing there.
and then you have to nerve to write on the tip line of your credit card:
" $0.00 be a better and nicer waitress!!"
but you be a better and nicer person first.

my job is the best.


the pumpkin patch

there is a pumpkin patch in vineyard.
yes that is a city. i think?
i used to go here every year when i was little.
and sometimes my elementary school would go on fieldtrips.
it was so fun to take my husband and baby.
and to make up for my lack of pictures lately-
here are a ka-jillion of miles.
he's growing so much!
he will be 1 in a week!
and we are going to celebrate like crazy!
and i know he won't remember,
but let's be honest,
we are actually just celebrating that we made it through one year with a child.
ha. jk. sort of.

p.s. dear jared and susan,
do those shoes on miles's feet look familiar?
thats because i stole them.
well technically, 
i didn't steal them, 
because i didn't know i still had them.
i found them in the bottom of a box.
(don't worry-
not next to the dead mouse i recently found.) 
i will be mailing them back to you
but only after miles outgrows them.
because they are just too darn cute.
ok? thanks!