for some reason,
i thought your funeral would mean the end of my letters.
i thought i would feel better.
i thought i could continue on living like normal.
but i don't feel normal.
i feel worse.
i feel empty.
today was beautiful and sunny.
i went on a drive with baby miles
and i rolled the windows down.
the breeze felt good
after a long cold winter.
and i wished you were with me.
i had plans to drive up to the canyon.
i looked up at the cliffs all day
but in the end,
i just couldn't do it.
i'm not ready to face them yet.
but i am determined to not let them scare me.
i find myself staring at your facebook profile
it is the last connection i have with you.
when new pictures are posted by your friends,
i just cry.
the last thing i wrote on your wall was on feb 28,
"its almost march!
which means you'll be here in like a month!
and you said,