today we went to the cemetery and picked your plot.
we picked one for mom and dad too,
so you won't be alone up there.
we tried to pick one on the hill
because we know how much you enjoy the view.
i hope you like it.
we had to gather the clothes we wanted you to be buried in.
mom and i picked your green tie, your white shirt, and your brown pants.
they are the clothes you wore for my wedding.
we took them downstairs and layed them out in the living room.
i took pictures so we could always remember.
and while i was taking pictures,
i looked up to see mom crying.
she felt you close by.
you told her, "that's good, mom. i like it."
all the funeral arrangements have been made.
the musicals are prepared.
you are going to love them.
now we just have to muster up the courage to speak.
but you are our brother
and we would never forgive ourselves if we didn't.
dad and i decided that we want to go on your favorite hike,
the one that took you away from us.
we want to find your other shoe,
the one they never found.
and maybe your glasses.
but they gave us your chapstick,
the one that was in your pocket.
burt's bees, of course.
we sent your obituary in to the newspaper.
we were all a little disappointed in how it turned out.
only because there is so much to say about you
but no way to put it into words.