2.24.2011

mommy guilt

i did it. i left miles in daycare today.  for one whole hour. 
i got a gym pass last month and only went like 4 times.  my little miles was hindering me.
so i upgraded to the pass with DAYCARE.
ahhhhh.
and i almost cried when i set him down and walked out.
because what if another kid hurts him?
what if he is sad and confused and no one is watching him close?
i just get so very very nervous leaving him with people who don't know him and love him, ya know?
but i have to do this, for my own sanity, i have to do it.

but i feel so horribly guilty.

4 comments:

LL said...

those same fears will haunt you all your life....
What if someone hurts him?
What if he's sad and confused and one one is watching?
It's hard, and the guilt involved is often consuming.
I'm impressed though, you need to take care of you too. He's lucky to have such a sweet and caring mom!

Tina said...

I leave Sullivan at daycare for a few hours everyday with no problem (anymore!), but for some reason I can't bring myself to take him to a gym daycare for the exact reasons you mentioned...they don't know him and love him!? :) But they will get to know him and love him...I'm sure sometime soon you'll go to pick Miles up and he won't want to leave because he's having so much fun! :)

Julianne said...

i would die!
i babysit a lot. and i loooove babies! but how do moms even find babysitters that they can trust?! and daycare would be worse. BUT since it's only an hour--i think you are okay. Just think, he's learning how to deal with other kiddies!
xoxo

Felt Family said...

don't feel too bad. I used to work at the golds gym day care...(When I got a gym pass and I got to know the girls that worked there and figured out you can bring your kids when you work there)
anyways---almost EVERYONE there is a mom (because of the above mentioned reason that you can take your kids with you to work) and they are all VERY VERY NICE and they keep strict STRICT rules on cleaning toys, crying babies etc. Gotta take care of yourself so you can take care of your babies! :)
p.s. brani and I do yoga on tues/thrusday you should come sometime!