dear porter,

don't worry about us starving anytime soon.
we have lots of food.
and more keeps coming.
believe me, you would be in heaven.
well, you already are.
speaking of which, i hope you still get to eat your favorite beto's breakfast burritos.
it just wouldn't be heaven for you without them.

lots of cute girls were at the house today.
cute girls that were so lucky to have you as a friend.
they were all sitting on the couch and crying.
but also laughing.
because you were so funny.
and they have such good memories.

your band had a gig tonight.
they didn't cancel the show,
but instead, they did an acoustic set in honor of you.
we all wish we could've gone,
but couldn't seem to leave the house.
because this is where we feel you the closest.
but those cute girls i just mentioned said they would record it for us.
i hope you got to see it too.

i also borrowed your chapstick.
the new burt's bees you had sitting in your nightstand.
mom said i could have it.
but i couldn't bear to throw the box away that it was in.
i told mom i might turn into one of those hoarders
like the show on a&e
because i feel guilty getting rid of anything that reminds me of you.

i just walked past the computer room
almost expecting you to be sitting here at the desk
because that's where you were always sitting
every night when i would tell you "good night"
and today, wade was standing on the stairs
and mom glanced up and thought it was you for a second.
and we all started crying.
because it wasn't you.
and we wished so badly that it was.

i'm sleeping in your bed tonight.
i hope you don't mind.

love you.