motherhood #8

by Lyndi:

I remember when I was younger there was a particular occasion when I was being bratty and had made my Mom frustrated about something. When I was scolded for the way I was acting my snotty response was "You brought me here!" Being the older and wiser person that I am *fingers crossed* I now feel bad for saying that (and every other snotty comment I made... ever!) to my Mom, whom I love and adore.

That same snarky comment has come to mean something different to me now.

From the minute I found out there was a little baby in my tummy...
From the second I held that sweet squishy little thing in my arms for the first time...
Each and every time I get to the end of the day, long or short, hard or easy...

I recognize the amazing and awesome responsibility that is mine as a Mother. I know that Baby Chomp is here because of me. I know I "brought her here".

I wasn't uncomfortable during pregnancy...
I wasn't scared during birth...
I'm not tired of being a Mom...

There are times that I resemble a hermit crab, times when I cry about being overwhelmed or unsure, times when I just stare in awe, when I smile until my face hurts, when I laugh just as hard or harder than she does. There are days when I don't think I've accomplished anything... days when the clocks moves faster than I thought it ever could, days that I wish I could wrap up in a box and keep forever, days that I don't think there is enough hard drive space on every computer on the planet to hold the pictures I would take of this sweet little thing.

Ups and downs, highs and lows, hard or easy, fun or frustrating...
I will not let myself complain...
I will not let myself call her names...
I will not ever stop worrying and wondering about her...
I will not ever stop loving every speck of her beautiful little soul.

I will work hard to deserve her, to take care of her, to love her. I will work hard to help her be strong, happy, healthy, smart, sweet and good.
I will pray for both of us to be patient and kind, pray that we both make good choices, pray in thanks that she is here... that Heavenly Father let me bring her here. I don't bother trying to remember life without her... because this all feels perfect. Here. Right now.

I'm thankful for my Mom. I'm thankful for my Daughter.
Life is good.